


Drama Club- What a Nightmare

by Dragonshifter



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Pidge has Mild Social Anxiety, Pidge | Katie Holt-centric, drama club au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-02-09 23:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12899154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonshifter/pseuds/Dragonshifter
Summary: When Matt suggested that Pidge join Drama Club, she was skeptical of course. She was never really good at expressing herself, to say the least. Who could of guessed that Pidge would find herself with the best of friends a girl could ask for?  Or that she was actually a really skilled actress?  Well... certainly not Pidge.





	1. Thespians Unite

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! There's no beta reading for this so if you catch any mistakes please inform me. This is my first fanfiction on this website, so constructive criticism would be appreciated as well.

"I'm sorry  _what?_ " 

"Look Pidge, you need to get out more, expand you horizons, live a little" Matt said, giving his younger sister a pointed look and folding his arms stubbornly. 

"Yeah, but Matt  _Drama_ Club? I'm not- Matt I can't  _people_ ," Pidge argued back, looking slightly distressed. Only now seeming to notice her dilemma Mat sighed, sat on the bed beside her, and wrapped his arms around her. 

"Hey it's okay Katie. If you don't want to, I get it. But please just come for one day. I'll be there too and if there's any point you feel overwhelmed and just want to leave, tell me and I'll get us out of there," He waited for her to respond patiently, knowing she needed a little bit to think things over. It was one of the many things Pidge loved about her older brother. He may not understand everything she was feeling all that well, but he  _tried_. So if he could do that for her, she could do this for him. 

With a deep breath, Pidge gave her response, "Okay Matt, I'll do it"

"Really?!" He said, looking ten times more excited than she felt, "You won't regret it, I swear" She gave him a weak smile in return and let him drag her out the house and to his car. 

The ride there, Matt took the liberty of sharing stories of weird shenanigans the Drama Club got themselves into. Pidge zoned out around the fifth the story about the time they accidentally blew a hole in a wall. Her mind decided to take a different route and instead started telling her of all the things she could possibly do to mess this up. She couldn't do that, not to Matt. 

"-idge? PIDGE!" Matt yelled, shaking her a bit and offering her a concerned look, "Pidge are you okay? You looked a bit... panicked there. If you're having second doubts I can turn around now and-"

"No Matt, It's fine. I'm fine. I can do this" She said and tried to send him a reassuring smile. He stared at her for a moment before shrugging and opening the door, "Well... we're here"

Pidge got out of the car and looked at the small building. It looked like it was in need of a paint job and she noticed a rumpled piece of paper taped to door. Upon closer inspection, Pidge could make out the words 'Thespians Unite!' and what looked like information about the club. 

"Matt...?" Pidge asked, still looking at the paper, even as before mentioned sibling was opening the door. 

"Yes my dearest sister?"

"What the heck is a thespian?" Matt paused a moment and looked a bit thoughtful. 

"Well.... I guess you could say it's all the theater nerds" 

"So... you" Pidge said, going through the open door. 

"Exactly!" Matt agreed. He led her through another set of doors and there it was. The big, glorious stage. It was honestly the most well maintained part of the entire building, to say the least. Pidge would even go as far as to say it was beautiful. On the stage stood four people, seeming to be in the middle of a discussion. As soon as the heavy, wooden doors slammed shut behind Matt, their talking stopped and they turned towards the pair. 

"Matt!" shouted a tall, skinny boy with a wide grin, "And... your evil twin you never told us about?" 

"Haha Lance," Matt replied witha wide grin of his own, "this is my little sister Pidge"

"Wait. What?! Pidge is a  _girl_ _?_ " the boy-Lance- said, looking as though his world had just shattered into a million pieces, "But- this whole time I had thought you were talking about your  _brother_. Why didn't you ever tell me Pidge was your  _sister?!_ " He whined. A tall guy sighed and shook his head. 

"Lance, he did. When he first told you about her he mentioned that Pidge was his sister" Wait... was that- it was!

"Shiro?!" Pidge smiled, "Matt, why didn't you mention Shiro was also going to be here?" she said, giving her brother a light punch in the arm and running up onto the stage. Matt followed, rubbing his arm and wincing. 

"I... forgot?" he offered and looked slightly guilty. The others on stage only shook their heads and smiled fondly. 

"Good to see you Pidge, Matt didn't mention you'd be joining us today. Is this a one time thing or...?" 

"I'm going to try it out, see how I like," Pidge answered Shiro's unfinished question. 

"Well Pidge, I hope you decide to stay. I'm Allura by the way," the girl had a slight British accent and long, white hair that she somehow not only managed to pull off but also managed to look like a super model in the process. She held out her hand and Pidge only took a moment of hesitation before taking it and shaking her hand. 

"Um, hi. Nice to meet you too... I guess Matt's been talking about me huh?" Allura and Shiro exchanged glances.

"Yeah... you could say that" Pidge narrowed her eyes and turned towards Matt, who looked a little sheepish.

"W-well... Uh, Pidge! This is Hunk! He's in your grade and builds most of our set!" Pidge decided to just go along with Matt's obvious change of subject and offered a wave towards a Polynesian man that mildly reminded Pidge of a teddy bear. 

"You like technology right?" Hunk asked kindly and continued when she gave a brief nod of her head, "well then you'll want to meet the head of our tech crew and choreographer Keith. Hey, where is Keith by the way?" Lance huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Probably in the box being emo," As if on cue, a spotlight shined exactly on Lance's face, making him wince and yelp.

"What the heck Keith?!"

"Keith" Shiro warned and the light went off, "come on down and meet Pidge" only a few moments later Pidge found herself in the presence of a grumpy looking boy with pale skin and... was that a mullet? 

"Nice to meet you..." he mumbled and Pidge had a moment of recognition. She snapped her fingers and pointed at him. 

"You're Keith Kogane! We share a science class at the Garrison. You punched a guy because they were insulting someone or something" Shiro kind of looked at Keith with a mix of disappointment and approval. 

"oh uh, right... And you're the girl who always corrects the teacher" he said, ignoring the look Shiro was giving him. Pidge was grateful to realize that no one was was staring at her weirdly or anything. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you what everyone did and stuff!," Matt interrupted him, "Allura is the President and Shiro is her VP. Lance is in charge of all our social media and anything music if we end up putting on a musical. Hunk is not only in charge of set, but also manages our money and you already know what Keith does. We have some more members but I guess they're not here today or something..." 

"Well who cares about  _them_ _?_ I'm here and that's all you need!" Lance said, emanating energy and cockiness, "Let's do some warm-ups! Who's up for 'Honey I Love You' ?" The others groaned and rolled their eyes while Pidge just looked confused. 

"'Honey I love you?' What kind of warm-up is that?" 


	2. Drama Games and IHop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, my best ideas come after I've eaten some good pancakes and had a good laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to add an explanation of different drama games and phrases down at the bottom that most people probably aren't familiar with in each chapter. (So I'm not going to explain things like 'Break a Leg' or what a 'Spotlight' is). If I don't end up explaining something that you're not familiar with, then I'll add an explanation of that term/phrase/game at the beginning of the next chapter. I do realize that although I may play a drama game a certain way, another thespian might know how to play it a different way.

As it turns out, ‘Honey I love you’ is exactly as cringy and awkward as it sounds. Pidge didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe from second hand embarrassment when Lance scooted from his position on the floor up to Matt (they were all sitting in a circle at this point). Matt took up the most serious expression Pidge had ever seen on her brother’s face as Lance used his finger to lift Matt’s chin and force him to look into his eyes. Lance adopted a flirty smile that seemed to fit him perfectly as he said in an equally flirty tone, “Honey I love you~ if you love me too please smile~” 

Matt scoffed, “Honey- I love you too, but I just can’t smile” 

Lance groaned, “Oh come on! Why can’t I ever beat you?!” 

“Because I have no heart and there’s a giant hole where my soul use to be,” Matt said, holding out his hand for a high-five towards Pidge, who obviously high-fived him. 

“Well then…” Lance said, suddenly sly, which made Pidge suspicious, “I guess you wouldn’t mind if I asked Pidge?” 

“Lance, if you dare touch my sister, I will break your fingers” Matt threatened, while Pidge hid her face in embarrassment. 

“Oh gods… Matt, please shut up”

 The game continued like that, and then they played a few more drama warm-up games. It wasn’t until they were playing some game called ‘Pterodactyl’ that Pidge realized she was actually having fun. Of course, the fact that she laughed meant that she got out, but that didn’t matter to her. Matt nudged her and gave her a thumbs up, smiling gently. Pidge rolled her eyes but nudged him back. 

After the game ended (When Shiro squawked at Keith, looking wide-eyed and slightly crazy, Keith finally laughed), Allura stood up and said “Macaroni and Cheese, everybody freeze!”  

Everyone instantly froze what they were doing- Lance looking like he was regretting the balancing act he had been attempting on top of a stack of chairs. Pidge was just confused but sat quietly where she was. 

“Alright, now that I have your attention, it’s time to get on with official club business,” Allura said, causing some groaning all around. Shiro stepped in now. 

“Enough of that, We’d like to announce that we’re going to be putting on either a play or musical soon. We need all of you to look through scripts and make a list of ones you’d like to do. Be prepared to explain the plot next meeting so that we can vote,” Suddenly there was an explosion of excitement as members start discussing possibilities with one another. Pidge caught herself making her own list of musicals she listened to and quickly tossed that thought away. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to join yet… right? Ah whatever, she still had time till the next meeting to decide. 

Everyone started to exit, still talking, so Pidge quickly sought Matt out. He wasn’t hard to find, and he looked super excited. 

“Pidge, Pidge, Pidge, if we do one of the musicals you like to listen to, then you  _ have  _ to audition,” He said. Pidge hesitated to answer. 

“I don’t know Matt… I don’t think I’d be any good anyway…” 

Matt pouted before smiling hopefully again.

“Well, the others are all headed to IHop. Do you wanna go with or would you rather I take you home?”

“I’ll go as long as you’re paying,” Pidge said, already thinking of crepes. 

“Deal,” He said. 

It was only a few minutes drive away and Pidge was surprised at how quickly they were able to find a table, even more, surprised when their food came quickly after ordering. 

“Guys,  _ Hamilton _ ”

“Yeah, but Dear Evan Hansen is better”

“You’re only saying that because you’re emo”

“I’m not emo!”

“You kind of are…” 

“Not you too Shiro! Betrayed by my own flesh and blood”

“Keith, I don’t know how to break this to you, but… you were adopted” 

“Shut up Takashi”

The easy bickering continued like this, and the feeling that she clearly did not belong with this group of well-formed friends sunk into Pidge unpleasantly. It felt as though she had been hollowed out only to be filled again with this ugly feeling. No one seemed to notice the dip in her mood and she wasn’t sure if she was glad or disappointed. She quietly scolded herself when she thought that. ‘ _ Why would I feel disappointed? It’s not like they know me, or that I’m their friend or anything. I’m just the weird little sister of their friend. They’ve got better things to worry about.’  _

Pidge finished the last of her crepes and stared mournfully at the empty plate for a moment. The other’s voices became white noise as her thoughts drifted. 

She could feel her heartbeat pick up when she began to think of homework she still needs to do and she had to close her eyes for a few minutes and just breathe. She managed to clear her mind and turned back into the conversation. 

“ - _ please,  _ this is not the grossest thing I’ve ever done! Suggesting so is just insulting!” Lance was saying as he mixed the different syrups offered onto a spoon and began to dip an already ketchup-covered piece of scrambled eggs into it. Hunk looked like he was about to throw up and Keith looked oddly intrigued and disgusted at the same time. 

“I mean, yeah you’re right. But  _ right now  _ it’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever done” Hunk argued. 

“That doesn’t even make any sense,” Matt said in an almost casual manner, as though these kind of arguments were daily, yet he still found enjoyment in engaging them. Pidge felt a twinge of jealousy. 

She wanted that. She wanted the playful banter, weird dares, the random hangouts and inside jokes. She wanted the daily conversation, the acceptance. She wanted to join the drama club. The thought came so abruptly in her mind, it was almost as though someone else had spoken them into her mind. She pondered it for a moment, only to realize that it was true. 

In the middle of an IHop in the middle of Arizona, Katheryn Elizabeth Holt made the best choice she’s ever made. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honey, I Love You: Everyone sits in a circle with one person in the middle. The person in the middle has to go up to someone in the circle and say the phrase, "Honey I love you, if you love me too, please smile" They can say it however they want. The other person has to respond with "Honey I love you too, but I just can't smile" Some people say that you need to say it 3 times. The goal of the person in the middle is to get the other person to smile or laugh. They can only use one finger for physical contact (although I've played where no physical contact was allowed). The person being asked has to try not to laugh. If they succeed at not laughing, the person in the middle has to find someone else to ask. If they fail and smile, then they are now in the middle.
> 
> Pterodactyl: Everyone sits or stands in a circle. Someone starts off by saying "Pterodactyl" to the person next to them without showing their teeth or covering their mouth. The person they said it to either turns to the person on the other side of them and says "Pterodactyl," or they respond to the person who said it to them by screeching. If someone screeches at you, you have to turn to the person on the other side of you and say "Pterodactyl" to them (So the 'Pterodactyl' is reversed). If you show your teeth once during the game, whether it's your turn to say "Pterodactyl" or not, you're out.
> 
> Macaroni and Cheese, everybody freeze: A term to get everybody to freeze what they're doing and pay attention.   
> \------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
> Hey! So the paladins are going to put on a play or musical, if you have any suggestions, please put them in the comments bellow! Thanks so much for reading!


	3. Auditions… My Heart is Beating at an Unhealthy Rate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Auditions can be scary, good thing Pidge has her friends there to help her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait! Do you ever look back at something you've done previously that you were so proud of and thought 'Gosh this was so bad- why do people like this? I could do way better now.' And then you try and think 'this is just as bad.' Yes? No? Well, that's what I felt as I looked at my previous chapters. Honestly, I still can't get over the fact that people actually enjoy what I write. If you've got any requests for anything I'd be happy to hear them!

Pidge took a deep breath, clutching the audition paper tightly in her hand. The club had decided to do Peter Pan in the end- apparently it had to be ‘family-friendly’ or something. Pidge felt super nervous, but she had promised Matt that she would at least audition. It didn’t help that she has never done this before either- everyone else was so experienced and talented that she figured there was no way she’d make it. If anything, she’d be a lost boy or something. 

The door opened and Keith appeared before her. 

“Come on in Pidge, Matt is waiting for you,” Keith said, holding the door open for her. 

“Okay, yeah- sorry for making you guys wait,” she said, attempting a confident smile. Apparently it wasn’t convincing, because Keith’s expression softened and he gave her a gently smile.

“Don’t worry, you’ll do great”

“You don’t know that,” She argued back.

“Maybe not, but I do know you, and you’re great- so why wouldn’t you do great?” he reasoned back, and even though his reasoning was terrible, Pidge still found it somewhat reassuring. 

“... Thanks Keith” 

“No problem, now let’s get inside before your brother thinks we’ve been murdered or something,” Keith said, following Pidge as she entered the building. She laughed, nerves lessening even more. 

Matt spotted her and waved enthusiastically.

“PIDGE! You ready?!” 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready,” she responded sassily, rolling her eyes and smiling. 

“Who’re you auditioning for anyways?” he asked curiously. Pidge had been keeping it a secret from him- his was no secret though. He was going for Captain Hook. At that Pidge had laughed- he would make a ridiculous Hook. 

“You’ll see with everyone else,” she replied.

“But Piiiiiiiidge!” he whined, pouting slightly. She punched his shoulder lightly, but he fell over anyways. 

“... the auditioners not from the club should be here any minute- oh hullo Pidge! You ready? I can’t wait to be able to work with you!” Allura said enthusiastically, abandoning her conversation with Shiro, who simply waved at Pidge before continuing helping setting up. 

“Um, Hi Allura… thanks…” Pidge said smoothly. Gosh she was a mess, “Who’s judging this anyways?” 

“Oh! Well Coran will be one of the judges because he’s the director, as well as our choreographer Kolivan- he’s in charge of Marmora Dance Studios, and our music director Ryner,” Allura said, listing them off on her finger. 

“Oh, um… cool” Not cool. So not cool- she didn’t know she was going to be judged by a bunch of strangers! As if sensing her distress, Matt put an arm around her shoulder.

“You should help me practice the song!”

“What? Matt, I-”

“Come on! Maybe we can get the whole group to do it!” He said, which made Allura clap her hands excitedly.

“Splendid idea Matt! Everyone! Center circle please!” She shouted to the rest of the people in the club. They all gathered on stage and formed a rough circle. 

“What’s up Allura?” Lance asked.

“We’re all going to practice the song together!” 

“Does anyone have the karaoke version already pulled up?” Hunk asked, but Lance already had his phone out and was waving it in the air.

“I have it! Okay! Let’s start!” He began the music and everyone began singing the song  [ We’re All Made of Stars ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLXTVgjEm3E&index=16&list=PLlxYy5MdlQrAAUlrjb0L6JIAdcwyodTy2) from the Finding Neverland musical. It was sort of a mess, but it was also fun. Pidge felt way more confident now. 

By the time they were finished, other auditioners had trickled in. 

“Hullo thespians! Why don’t you all come and join us on stage? We’ll do some warm-ups before we start auditions!” Allura said, gesturing for them to join. They ended up playing Whoosh, Shay-shay-coolay, and Czechoslovakia. It was fun and more people joined as they played. 

“Alright! Warm-ups are over! Head over to the drama room- which you can get to by exiting out the door upstage right. We’ll give you a number and group. Feel free to practice the song and your monologue while you wait!” Shiro said, directing them off stage. 

 

The audition process was rather long. While one group was on stage (one at a time) performing their song and monologue, the other group was in a separate room trying to learn a small bit of choreography that this woman named Krolia was teaching them. She looked oddly familiar for some reason. When she asked about it, Matt laughed and told her that she was Keith’s mom. Huh. That might explain Keith’s surprising ability to dance. After that they were led out and performed their dance, monologue, and song while the first group went to learn the choreography. Thankfully they did the dance together, so Pidge didn’t  _ completely  _ embarrass herself. Dancing was NOT her strong suit. 

By the time it was over, Pidge was exhausted and wanted to go home. She had just about maxed out her social battery. She was just about to tell Matt as much when Lance came bouncing over and swung his arm around her shoulder. 

“Hey Pidgey! Good job out there today! From what I saw you did really good! You should join the crew for celebratory milkshakes!” Lance exclaimed, looking really hopeful as he looked at her. 

“I- well, uh...um, okay. I guess that’d be cool,” Pidge wanted to slap herself. There’s no way she’d be able to seem even slightly energetic enough to socialize. Stupid anxiety. 

Lance lit up and cheered, “Hey guys! Pidge is coming too!” Matt came over and hugged her tightly, also looking excited. 

“This is tradition Pidge! You’re officially part of Voltron now!”

“Voltron?” she asked, confused now. 

“Did Matt not tell you?” Keith asked as he came over- giving Matt an expression she couldn’t interpret.

“Um… no?” 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just what we call our friend group,” Hunk explained with a gentle, understanding smile. 

“Oh,” was all she could think to say. Yup, she definitely lived up to her ‘genius’ status. 

 

They arrived at In ‘n Out not too soon after they left. When they entered Pidge realized she didn’t even have the energy to order right now. She decided to text Matt to try and avoid the situation. 

 

**Pidgeot** to **Mattatta**

**Pidgeot:** _ ‘Hey can you order 4 me? I don’t think I can do it rn’ _

**Mattatta:** _ ‘yeah sure. Strbry w/ fries right? What’s up?’ _

**Pidgeot:** _ ‘Yeah. I’m just tired’  _

 

Pidge closed her phone and put it in her pocket. She shot Matt a grateful look before addressing the group.

“I’m going to go grab us a seat,” She got varying replies, but she mostly just ignored them and gave the group a wave as she walked in the direction of an empty booth. Once there she took out her phone and began reading some fanfiction of a show she had recently got into. 

A few minutes later the group showed up with their orders and Matt handed Pidge her shake and fries. She accepted graciously and noticed Keith had a lemonade instead of a shake. He seemed to notice her questioning look and answered her before she had the chance to even ask. 

“Lactose intolerant- I forgot my pills at home,” 

“Oh… that sucks,” she responded intelligently. He shrugged and took his seat. Conversation began and Pidge was soon forgotten. She responded to questions directed at her, but other than that she remained on her phone as an anti-social hobbit. Matt seemed to be the only one to notice and every once in a while he would tap out ‘You okay?’ in Morse code on the table. She always responded with ‘Fine.’ 

An argument broke out about whether it was okay to dip fries in shakes or not. It almost completely mimicked the argument they had the other day about pineapple on pizza. Had Pidge been feeling social enough she would have argued that if you weren’t dipping your fries in your shake you were doing it wrong. As it was, she was not feeling social, so she didn’t say anything. Unfortunately this seemed to draw their attention to her lack of response. 

“You okay there Pidge?” Hunk asked, brows furrowed in concern. She finally looked up from her screen. 

“Fine. Why?” 

“You’ve just been a little quiet,” Shiro said, equally concerned. 

“I’m just tired is all. It’s been a long day,” She responded stiffly, not enjoying the sudden attention. 

“Alright, well I think Pidge and I have better get going,” Matt said, seeming to sense her distress, “Cast List comes up in two days right? See Y'all then!” 

“See ya!”

“Take a nap or something when you get home!”

“Fingers crossed we all make it!” 

“Have fun you two!”

Despite her exhaustion, Pidge smiled as they walked away. Now all she could do is hope and let fate take its path. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Center Circle: A circle made up of the members. Typically used for warm-ups.
> 
> Finding Neverland: A musical about the creation of Peter Pan- this isn't the one they're doing, but they are using this song from it.
> 
> Whoosh: This game includes 'sending a ball of energy' around the circle. When someone says "Whoosh!" at you, you can either respond by saying "Whoosh" to the next person, saying "Whoa!" and making the person say "Whoosh" to the person before them, saying "zap" and pointing at another person in the circle- making them the person with the 'whoosh' now, or saying "boing!" and 'bouncing' the 'whoosh' to another person in the circle- making EVERYONE in the circle say "oh-uppa!"
> 
> Shay-Shay-Coolay: (Pretty sure I'm spelling that wrong but whatever) Someone goes in the middle and says "Shay-shay-coolay" and the others repeat after them. Then MiddleMan says "Shay-shay-coVESA" Again repeated. "CoVESA-la-la" repeat "Cheek! Oh-lay Oh-lay" repeat "I said CHEEK CHEEK Oh-lay oh-lay!" then MiddleMan says 1, others: 2, MM: 3, others:4, MM: 5 others: 6 MM: 7 others:8 MM: 9 Others: 10! the first time the count happens you go softer. then you repeat everything (softer) again and the count gets louder. Repeat (louder) and make the count even louder. then repeat once more (even louder). There are also movements that go along with this but idk how to explain them. You can just have everyone repeat the MM's actions as well if you'd like.
> 
> Czechoslovakia: Everyone must get in a circle-close enough to almost touch. Everyone says "check-lu-zuvakia, boom-shuh-boom. you-gul-slavia, boom-shuh-boom. Who's got the rhythm of the hands?" while clapping your thighs first, then your own hands, then the outsides of your hands to the outside of your neighbor's hands (repeat this 3 times within the words) Then clap your hands together saying "boom boom boom" then "We've got the rhythm of the hands. boom boom boom" (clapping your thighs first, then your own hands, then the outsides of your hands to the outside of your neighbor's hands- then clap your own hands together 3 times). "Who's got the rhythm of the feet? boom boom boom" (clapping your thighs first, then your own hands, then the outsides of your hands to the outside of your neighbor's hands- then stomping 3 times) "we've got the rhythm of the feet boom boom boom" (clapping your thighs first, then your own hands, then the outsides of your hands to the outside of your neighbor's hands- then stomping 3 times) "Who's got the rhythm of the hips? boom boom boom" (clapping your thighs first, then your own hands, then the outsides of your hands to the outside of your neighbor's hands- then sway your hips 3 times) "We've got the rhythm of the hips boom boom boom" (clapping your thighs first, then your own hands, then the outsides of your hands to the outside of your neighbor's hands- then sway your hips 3 times)  
> Then you repeat this all- getting faster and faster until you can no longer do it. Once you have finished, you put your hands out to the middle and 'water-fall' them down towards your feet while saying "feel the tingle!"
> 
> Monologue: A long speech by one actor. Actors typically memorize a monologue for the character they're auditioning for- at least, in my experience.
> 
> **Typically there's more than one audition song. The song you sing depends on who you're auditioning for. In this case, I decided to just give them all the same song because it's easier for me.


	4. Hope for a Better Someday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I had some mental issues I was working out and I got sick! This still feels too short though. :( There's little-to-no theatre references in this chapter, so sorry if you were looking forward to some kind of new thespian knowledge. Instead, you get angst!

Pidge lay on her stomach on the loveseat in the front room. She scrolled through her phone, selecting a random fanfiction and began to read it, almost robotically. Matt past by, looking down at his phone and Pidge assumed he would just keep walking into the kitchen, but instead he paused. He looked up from his phone and squinted his eyes at Pidge. She tried not to pay attention to how he was looking at her in concern. ‘ _ Please go away. Please leave me alone. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t know  _ **_how_ ** _ to talk about it. There’s no  _ **_it_ ** **.** _ Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine. Everything’s fine,’  _ these thoughts overcame Pidge’s mind, distracting her from what she was reading and making the weird weight in her mind even heavier. 

Suddenly Matt was crouching in front of her. His frown deepened as though he could hear Pidge’s inner turmoil. 

“Hey Katie, you okay? What’s wrong?” he asked, his hand hovering over her shoulder as if he was hesitant on whether he should put it down or not. 

“I’m fine,” Pidge said, not meeting his eyes. She was still trying to convince herself that was true. By the look Matt gave her, he didn’t believe her. 

“ _ Katie _ ,”

_ “Matthew _ ,” 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing!” Because nothing could be wrong if she didn’t have a reason for anything to be wrong… right? Matt sighed and left the room. Pidge mentally celebrated her mini victory. It was a sad, lonely celebration. 

Pidge’s ‘celebration’ was cut short when Matt reentered with shoes on and his car keys. 

“Alright, up you get. We’re going out,” Matt said matter-of-factly, leaving no room to argue. Pidge sighed and slumped off the couch, pocketing her phone, and slipping on a pair of flip-flops. She dragged her feet as she followed Matt to his truck, where he opened the door for her like the gentleman he wasn’t. 

“I thought you were low on cash,” she mumbled as she buckled her seat and he started the car. 

“Is  _ that  _ what this is about?” Matt asked, turning towards her with his irritating (sweet) curiously concerned expression. 

“ _ No, _ ” she pouted, because  _ nothing was wrong and why wouldn’t he just drop it? _

“So you admit there’s something wrong,” he smirked almost smugly, backing out of the driveway and beginning the drive to whatever unknown destination they were heading. 

“No! I just don’t think you should be wasting your money on me when  _ everything’s fine, _ ” she huffed, resisting the urge to curl into a ball. 

“I don’t see how spending something as superficial as money on making sure my little sister is happy is a  _ waste _ ,” Matt argued, his face darkening as some unexplainable emotion overtook his expression. And suddenly Pidge was crying. Not sobbing, or anything, but silent tears that ran down her face and clogged up her nose so she couldn’t even breathe properly. It was perfect timing for them to stop at a red light because Matt turned to her, ready to give some heart-touching speech for sure when he noticed her expression and all darkness from his face vanished- replaced by concerned horror. 

“ _ Woah _ , hey Katie, I- shoot, sorry. I was probably too harsh huh? I just mean- you’re worth it okay?” 

“Sorry. I-I don’t even know why I’m crying,” Pidge muttered, attempting to wipe away her tears. 

“You don’t know or you don’t know how to explain?” Matt asked. It was a fair question, but Pidge felt as though she didn’t even know the answer. It’s her own mind darn it! Shouldn’t she be able to explain what was going on inside it? So instead of answering Matt, Pidge just shrugged miserably. 

“Well… do you think if I started naming possibilities you could tell if one was right?” Matt asked, and  _ gosh  _ Pidge felt awful. He didn’t deserve a sister with a broken mind. So she nodded her head, even though she didn’t really think it would work. The light turned green and they started driving again. 

“Um, okay. Is it about… school?”

“No…”

“Grades?”

“No,”

“Friends?” 

“No,”

“...Bullies?”

“ _ No _ ,”

“Okay. Um, the musical?”

“No,”

“Self-worth…?” This one made Pidge pause and think. 

“...yeah,” At this Matt let out a shaky breath, as though he was afraid this was the case. Which made sense, of course, because of course, Matt didn’t want to deal with trying to convince Pidge she wasn’t a horrible person, because Matt hates lying. She was crying harder now because now he was going to realize. Realize what? Even Pidge didn’t know, but she was sure it was something terrible. 

“You know I love you right?”  _ Wait. What?  _ “And Mom, and Dad, and- and all the kids at the club?” 

“...” 

“And I know that it sucks that you have to be at constant battle with your mind. I wish I could understand because I  _ hate  _ seeing you suffer so much. You’re absolutely brilliant Katie. And I’m not talking about your grades, even though those are extremely impressive. If I could take this burden away from you, I would,” gosh darn it, Matt, being the perfect older brother. 

“I wouldn’t wi-wish this on- on anyone,” Pidge sobbed, “Except that- that sometimes I wish I could meet someone that could under-understand per-perfectly. And th-en I feel  _ horrible _ because that’s s-so  _ selfish.  _ And then so-omeone will compliment me an-and I can’t help bu-ut think that it’s a  _ lie _ , and tha-at  _ everything  _ about m-e is a-a lie. An-and that so-on everyone will fi-ind out that I-I’ve been tricking them and the-ey won’t even  _ try  _ to hide tha-at they all  _ hate  _ me. And  _ I know  _ it’s stupid. An-and that no one re-eally hates me, and-and i-it’s all in my head. Bu-ut it’s like my mind is trying to convince itself tha-at the pile of evidence it’s gathered a-against me is all fake, but at the same time it can’t deny wh-what’s right in front of it,” When Matt was sure Pidge was done, he spoke. 

“I don’t think it’s selfish to want to be understood. I know I can’t magically fix everything and I can’t magically convince your mind to see yourself as I see you, but I hope that someday you’ll be able to see the truth clearly. And it’s not your fault that the chemicals in your head decided to go all unbalanced on you. I’m sorry that I haven’t been giving you enough evidence that I don’t hate you,” Matt stopped her from protesting that it wasn’t  _ his  _ fault at this part, “I guess I’ll just have to try harder from now on. But  _ gods Katie _ , you’re probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I feel  _ blessed  _ every day when I look at you and realize how  _ lucky  _ I am to have such a  _ strong  _ and  _ smart  _ sister. It’s  _ inspiring  _ to see you struggle so much, yet win every time. And I know that it doesn’t feel like winning, but I know that if I were in your shoes, or mind, that I’d probably break. You’re a warrior. And it sucks that you have to go through this, but please know that you don’t have to go through it alone. I love you  _ so much _ ,” 

“I love you too, Matt. Thank you for being the best brother in the entire universe,” Pidge said, finally calming down as they approached the drive-through at a frozen custard place. Pidge felt her heart swell with gratitude. Here Matt was, being such a sweet brother, and knowing that there was no way that she would feel comfortable walking into the restaurant. 

“No problem Katie. Now, what would you like?” 

Pidge was silent on the ride home. Matt hadn’t gotten anything for himself, despite Pidge’s insistence. Some bullcrap about how this was for  _ Pidge  _ and that  _ Matt  _ didn’t need anything. She was already thinking of ways to repay him anyhow.  _ Ha! Take THAT you selfless twerp! _

Matt had turned the radio on to some popular song Pidge didn’t know but found herself humming along to anyways. Looking at the two of them now, no one could have guessed that they had  _ both  _ had an emotional breakdown save for the slightly red eyes and the peacefulness that so rarely existed between siblings. 

Matt was right. He couldn’t magically fix Pidge.  _ No one  _ could do that. But, for now, Pidge could have hope. Hope that she wouldn’t be stuck with this horrible weight her entire life. Hope that someday she might be able to believe it everytime someone complimented her. Hope that her mind could someday completely clear of self-loathing. Hope that maybe, just  _ maybe _ , she could get better. And when that day came, the first thing Pidge was going to do was buy Matt some frozen custard and properly thank him for everything he did for her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after my last update, I got a message asking to chat with me in private. I agreed and we swapped IG accounts. As it turned out, the person had created a comic based on my fanfic! I'm honestly still so shocked??? Like, this fic is one of my least popular (granted, I only have 3 at the moment), yet someone still liked it enough to make art for it???? So ANYWAYS if anyone's interested, here's the comic:   
>  https://www.instagram.com/voltron.theatre_comic


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